My kid knows everything so don’t even try

Burn the schools, stop trying to ‘better’ yourself, and turn off the news: for my 9-year-old child knows everything. It does not matter that she spends most of her time quoting Beast Boy and walking into things, oh no, she knows everything. And you, adult, with your lived experiences, who is suggesting she wears socks on this cold winter’s day, are an idiot who knows not everything, but actually nothing. You deserve heavy sighs, eye rolls, and slammed doors. The kid, who only recently stopped eating her boogers (maybe?) knows everything, so give up. And in the unlikely event that she does not know something, her classmate and sometimes friend Sophie B. does, and she will tell my spawn, who will then, again, know everything.

You are useless, adult, go away.

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