I am a bad mother because I am soft. I am a bad mother because I am hard.
My laissez-faire attitude that makes me a bad mother:
- I don’t care if my daughter – or myself to be honest – wear matching socks or not. Sorting through socks is boring.
- If the knees of her pants have grass stains, I know she had a fun day.
- My daughter has been choosing her outfits and dressing herself for years. Her outfits are so cool.
- She wanted short hair, so I cut it. Many say they love it, but the most vocal people are those who seem to have been living vicariously through her long, goldie-locks. How did I let her choose to cut it or not?
- She’s too loud and excited.
- Her room isn’t clean enough.
My stern attitude that makes me a bad mother:
- She has to eat what she is served. If she asked for it, she has to eat it. If she doesn’t like what is made, she still has to eat it. We don’t encourage wasting food, money, or my time.
- I cut her hair.
- She wanted short hair, so I cut it. Many say they love it, but the most vocal people are those who seem to have been living vicariously through her long, goldie-locks. How dare I choose to cut it?
- I tell her to calm down when she gets too loud or excited.
- I make her clean her room.
In other words I’m a bad mother, no matter what. But this sums up my entire blog, really.
We have been raised on binary thinking. I am not saying it is easy to unlearn this. I am saying it is necessary to do so in order to properly understand things. Due to this binary thinking I am assumed to be too “soft” because of my frivolous hobbies like placing an importance on human rights and my love of cute tattoos. My supposed mothering approach means I am raising a special snowflake that will grow to be a scourge on society. Don’t worry! Binary means two, so there’s a whole other way I am ruining my daughter’s life. These tattoos and expectations of human decency mean I am a mean mommy! I lecture my daughter in public, and I don’t use a baby voice while doing it! I am not nurturing a special snowflake. Wait, but I am, right? That’s what the other group said. Did all these people read and/or watch Fight Club? Is that where the term came from? Do people think using the term makes them sound edgy? Or does it make them sound advanced in child nurturance? So many questions in need of non-binary answers!