That guy who doesn’t actually raise his kids, but his ex is the problem, he swears

When a guy is vocal about his hatred of his ex, a red flag goes up for me.

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Are there shitty ex-partners out there? Of course there is. Are there bad feelings involved in a break-up, yes, there sure are. And do we all say mean things at some point or another? I have, and I know I’m not alone.

After hearing the rants of many angry fathers, this seems to be the story:

He has part-time access to his children, because his ex is a bitch. His children aren’t looked after properly by their mother, because she is a bitch, and no he has no evidence of this supposed neglect. He doesn’t see his child(ren) regularly, he skips his time with them because he is busy. He knows that this is OK, because his ex is a bitch. He is broke because she is a bitch. He is ugly because she is bitch. That itch on his back? His ex is a bitch.

Maybe the break-up was rough, maybe his ex is not perfect. There is no way someone, as evil as he describes, has sole custody of their child(ren) just because. That would not happen. There is stuff being omitted, maybe purposely, maybe due to denial. We don’t have to like our exes, but we do have to remember they are a part of our children’s lives. A real parent simply does not have the energy it takes to hate as strongly as these guys do.

If the child(ren) are happy and healthy, let’s give credit where credit is due. There is a mom busy taking care of these kids in the time that this guy is freaking out over how much of a monster she is. And if we haven’t actually met the kids? Then there really is no logical way an opinion can be formed regarding the lives of these people we have no actual link to.

Every time I’ve met a guy like this, he has shown in other ways that he is an abusive, misogynist, jerk. Every time! I want to be proven wrong; I don’t want to have to meet these losers. I get wanting to see the best in everyone, and to root for some self-proclaimed underdog. But in these situations, from what I’ve experienced, I don’t have the patience for it anymore. They’ve exhausted me. Facebook pictures and public professions of loving one’s child(ren) is one thing, actually parenting in real life – in addition to these fun things – is another.

I would think this behaviour is also offensive for the fathers who are involved with their children’s lives too. I know a whole lot of these guys and they are awesome. Can these Facebook dads calm the eff down so we can appreciate true co-parenting?

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