I’m an awesome girlfriend

Awesome partner, right here!

If a dude is prepping himself for the dating world, AskMen has this advice, “For the bachelor not yet burdened with a family, few scenarios are as daunting as dating a single mother.” A daunting breed us mamas are.

I’ve never been a guy coming into a family scenario while dating. Today, though, I am putting away my truckloads of understanding and patience  (For I have spent many a time putting myself if another’s shoes, researching, communicating, fielding questions, understanding, being fucked around) and asking this: Why the hell would a guy date a mom if he wasn’t prepared to date a mom? And what is the big issue if you are in a happy relationship with one? I’ve done my time with bad relationships, and none of them were with single parents.

In my case, the frustrating fact has always been: it is absolutely no fucking surprise that I am a mother. And I am a devoted mother. Being a mother is part of my identity and my daughter is a huge part of my world, as I believe she should be. Understandably, there has been shock from serious significant others with what this all may entail. I’ve never expected a boyfriend to take on the roll of father. I am actually terrified of that step.

An ex turned friend answered: “You’re just so awesome it is hard not to fall for you.”

That sounds sweet in theory, doesn’t it? I’ve compared it to Rogue – because I am crazy mature and compare most things to X-Men – A guy will fall in love me but he can’t touch me. I don’t even get the satisfaction of sucking them dry.

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I am awesome. And a big part of my awesomeness is attributed to being a mom. I love shamelessly, I multi-task, I’m HAPPY (mental issues aside). I will listen to your problems; I give a fuck about your day. I have a reason to get out of bed in the morning and want to make the most out of life. A woman does not have to be a mother to be and do all these things. But I do. I need this. I need this piece of the puzzle to fully appreciate life and to become a stable package that is a perfect compliment to a lucky person.

If you are thinking of dating a single mom – and this isn’t something to fuck around with, we’ve done our time with shitty people – stop worrying about the single mom part and view her as a whole person. If that whole person is everything you’ve ever dreamed of and more, don’t fuck it up. Communicate. Enjoy. Embrace that maybe your soul mate wasn’t what you expected, like all fantastic surprises.

I write other stuff too! Check out HillaryDiMenna.com

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