If she were a roommate and not my darling child I would notice the following …
She doesn’t help with the rent, but she eats all the groceries. She is making messes constantly, but does absolutely no housework. She hoards all the dishes and she borrows my stuff and breaks it. She is up all hours of the night making noise and partying with her friends, who are loud considering they are in her head. Which brings question to her sanity. I can never get any work done with her around. She is overemotional and doesn’t respect personal boundaries. She is bossy for someone who contributes nothing. She embarrasses me in front of my friends and hits on my boyfriends. She opens my mail. She is clingy and possessive and calls me names. She un-ivites me to the birthday party she plans to have in our apartment at least once a day. She is stinky, she won’t bathe but she still manages to use all my Lush soap for something, I don’t know. She’s mean to my pets. She was a better tenant when she lived in my womb, she tricked me!
This is where I write about how she is not a roommate but my child, light of my life blah blah blah -or someone tells me I should’ve kept my legs closed for humour is lost on them, but I’ll delete the comment before it sees the light of WordPress.
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