Product X

Oh my God! This is the best thing ever! Orgasmic! Better than sex, food, friendship, love. Why, it makes my whites whiter! It makes my sink sparkle! It gives me an excuse to drop money on spreading something on dishes before I wash them with more products! Oh woweee I want to clean all my friends’ homes, and dance and sing. My life had no meaning until Product X! This justifies how no one else in my household will help at all! Whoa ho ho!!! Product X, you define me!

I effing hate cleaning product commercials.

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