This is a remarkably stupid “fiction” piece, though based on a true story.
This week’s Bloggy Mom’s Writer’s Workshop said to write what you don’t know. I have no clue how to write a fictional tale, even this is based on a lady that pissed me off at P’s dance recital. Next time maybe I’ll be more serious and be less self-indugant with my really bad sense of humour.
With her beau on her arm and spawn at her feet, Nerd Girl entered the building. What she was met with was pure chaos, generated by millions of human bodies. Pushy moms, bedazzled dancing stars-to-be, Nerd Girl’s anxiety was on the rise but she kept her cool. Her brood was the only cool assembly there after all. Seeing a familiar face in her daughter’s dance instructor she asked, “Where can we find solace before she performs?” The instructor instructed, as she does frequently given her position, to go to the gym. Nerd Girl led her family to safety.
But for how long?
Huddled together the awesome couple kept to themselves, others would simply sniff them and move on.
A woman made a beeline for the couple. Without moving any other part of her body her mouth let out an angry, “This is a change room!” Then her lips did a remarkable thing, they retracted inward, making a straight line like the mouth of a Muppet. Ah yes, it was the evil Muppet Head. Similar to a Negamonster. Before anyone else could respond to apologize for not knowing the gymnasium being used as a waiting room doubled as a change room – as no one was even changing – she hurried out of the room. Our beautiful monster of a heroine tried to call out to her, to let her know manners make the world a happier place, but her angelic voice fell on deaf ears. Something snapped in Nerd Girl’s brain, and she followed the evil Muppet. Her calls of, “Excuse me,” were ignored. So she jogged up to the beast again explaining they did not know. In fact, an actual employee of the business told them to go there. Muppet Head rotated her head to the side and smiled a condescending Muppet smile, “Mhmmm.” How was a smile being used against our fearless heroine? Smiles were meant to be a good thing!
Nerd Girl went back to her lover and told him to wait outside, she was going to face the beast alone. She bravely sat near the gym door; eyes wide and wise like those of an owl. She spotted her prey with a friend, also not an employee but at least a helpful parent, who was making a sign to designate the gym as a change room. This seemed much more logical to Nerd Girl. It was not that she wanted to linger in a change room, nor did her other half; they were doing what they were told. Nerd Girl approached and again apologized, she tried her best to do so rudely. The reasonable woman said it was OK, that it happens every year. Why was this not better organized? Who knows, Nerd Girl is merely the younger mom with tattoos.
Nerd Girl looked Muppet dead in the eye, “The way you spoke to us, so rude and short, you embarrassed us.” Muppet started a lame apology but that wasn’t enough for our now crazed heroine who was babbling. “You humiliated my husband.” This magic word, though a lie, calmed the beast. More apologies, as the reference to a faux husband, tumbled out.
Nerd Girl now fit in. It was not the equal amount of money she dished out as this other woman, or the commitment of having her daughter attend each practice and recital. It was that she was “married.”
Nerd Girl was ashamed that she resorted to a lie but her fury had to stop at some point. She was becoming unreasonably mad and was going to punch that Muppet face so hard that Muppet would become a bobble head.
Nerd Girl is openly not very emotionally stable. But was this incident especially psychologically menacing because Muppet was so rude? Or was it because the picture, out of many taken, that was used in the program excluded her daughter? Or was it the flashback to when she signed her daughter up and she had to tag along with another family for a tour because no one seemed to notice her as the mother of a child?
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