Old friends + new baby =

I would suck at poker for a variety reasons: I bore quickly of card games, I don’t like the chance of not getting something in return for my money and I’m not sure I’d be able to master a poker face.

Is that what friends do, when they are told a peer is pregnant? Though they do not actually intend on remaining friends, they say so anyway, their facial expressions in on the ruse?  Or do they genuinely believe they’ll stick around, until they grow bored over parties lacking your presence or grow awkward when you say you, let alone do, breastfeed?

I moved back to BC from Ontario because I was living a life that was over my head. An abusive childhood, self-destructive teenage years … my past is what cautionary tales are made of. When I moved back to Ontario with my fiancé I was pregnant. My old friends lifestyle didn’t mesh with my pregnant self. The ones who did stick around were mutual friends with my fiancé and I soon became nothing more than part of the furniture, if not an obstacle between them and their good time while they partied at my apartment.

New friends I made gushed and came to my baby shower. I received gifts of promises that they’d babysit whenever.

When Patience was first born these new friends stuck around, for a while. But it didn’t last; my new life was boring for them, understandable.  My “best” friend would ask before planning outings, “Will Patience be there?” Where else would she be? At work?

When I left Patience’s dad things got worse, when people decided it necessary to choose sides it was a no-brainer; the boring girl with responsibilities or the fun-loving guy?

Being friends with other moms didn’t work out either; it was as if they thought broken homes were contagious.

I’ve found healthier friends to accompany my recent healthier mindset.

I guess friends are dependant on your current lifestyle and some things are more flexible than others.

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2 thoughts on “Old friends + new baby =

  1. It is a lot harder once we’re older, isn’t it? There is a little boy P met when she was playing outside, and after ten minutes they were referring to each other as, “My friend.” The boy’s mother smiled at me and said, “I wish it was the easy to make friends.”

    Add kids into the mix, especially four, it is harder indeed. You can always chit-chat here 🙂



  2. oh, that is tough. I hope you have found new friends.
    We have different life stories but I can tell you that I have not made real friends since I have hopped over here in the States. Having 4 children in tow makes socializing difficult. And I find that, at my age, it is just hard to start making real friends again. Or maybe, it is just me. All of my time has been devoted to family – which I do not regret, except when I am looking for someone to chitchat with. 🙂


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