Here are ten assumptions made of parents:
You are pro life (anti-choice): People will begin to tell a story regarding abortion and then pause awkwardly and add as a side not to me; “I know this will bother you,” it won’t. I am and always have been pro-choice. I myself believe I couldn’t do it, but I’ve never been in that position and not one to judge anybody.
You are irresponsible: All children are not “accidents” some are “planned.” Neither should be a definition for a human life.
You are responsible: You know how many parents are awful to their children? I hate how I know people who are drug addicts and have children and peers turn a blind eye to the child’s endangerment because, “As a parent, they must be making the right decision.” No!
You can do it all: No one can. I read about Cancer survivors who were sick of automatically being labelled brave. They were upset because it was as if they were not allowed to show their fear and vulnerability, for they had to be the face of bravery. Clearly Cancer is a severe example on the other end of the spectrum. However, a parent is expected to work, keep the perfect home, provide the perfect education, have the perfect job, be a therapist, dietician, cook, teacher, friend, walk the dog, maintain the perfect garden, maintain the perfect figure … create 48 hour days in short; with a pearly white Colgate smile!
You don’t curse: If someone swears around me they cover their mouth and apologize, even older people who are parents! And if I say , “Fuck,” people react as if I just grew two extra sets of arms.
You were never not a parent: There was life before baby. There were friends, parties, irresponsible romps … I was badass dammit!
You love kids: I do love kids. Some people do only like their own children, however.
You drive: I don’t drive! And it’s OK! If there is an emergency and I need a car people aren’t gonna be like, “Well this will be a life lesson.” People will not do that, they just won’t. There are cabs, ambulances, buses, the old fashioned walking method …
You are a nympho: My pregnant self and some co-worker ladies were waiting at the bus talking about sex. One of them looked at my belly and said, “She knows something about sex,” implying I was a wild lay. How would she know that. That chick is kinky, she makes babies!
You are boring: I am pretty boring.
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