1. She will see a robin catch a worm.
2. She will be a vampire.
3. She will not give up on the bees.
4. She will dig up dinosaur bones.
5. She will own five hamsters and five snakes.

What have I been up to this week?

WTF Wednesday: Crest’s sexist toothpaste commercial

xoxHillaryDiMenna.comxox

Recently, The Toronto Star published an article called, Low-income ‘streaming’ in Ontario high school alive and well, report says.

Streaming was a process where students were separated into groups or, streams. Lower streams comprised of low-income families, recent immigrants and minority groups. White, middle-class (The reference to a middle-class emphasizes this was in the past) made up the higher streams.

In 1999, when I started high school, streaming was said to be gone after several studies proved the method was doing more harm than good. Now, students choose what ability level they want to take for each class. The arts and health are open but math, English, French, science, history and geography are divided into applied, academic or locally developed. The French Immersion program differs slightly. Locally developed courses can be described here. There is a pre-conceived notion among not just students but our society that Applied classes are easier.

Theoretically, this way a student can choose a class they feel matches their ability level and teachers can plan their lessons and collect educational resources accordingly. However, if a student or their support/peer system (if they have one) doesn’t recognize the student’s true potential, they may choose and applied class. The problem with this is, applied credits can hinder their future post-secondary and career wise in the long run. Quite the decision for a kid to make, a lot of pressure.

People for Education released The Trouble with Course Choices in Ontario High Schools.

“This report shows that students taking applied courses have a reduced chance of graduating from high school. It also shows that, worryingly, the schools where a large proportion of students take applied courses are most likely to have lower average family incomes and lower levels of parental education.”

I’m not a fan of the current education system but I am in no spot currently to suggest another method. What I do know is kids need to really understand the impact of their classroom choices. It’s already absurd to expect our children, at fourteen, fifteen, to make decisions that will impact them for life. However, it is their choice, let’s help them realize what is actually best for them.

What else I’ve been up to this week

FTW Friday: Ethical Shopping with Apptivism for This Magazine

xox HillaryDiMenna.com xox

I don’t think a child’s imagination is given enough credit. Though touted by marketers as a toy-gimmick, it is something that occurs naturally. We’re told we need to be stimulating our young minds constantly. Yet, somewhere along the line family bonding lost to big company gadgets. Imagination needs batteries and expansion sets.

I live in a low-income neighbourhood, school bus stop chatter consists of the need of children needing their own TV, computer and gaming system in their room; separate from the ones in the living room.

Somehow I got by playing with spools of thread for dolls and making board games out of cake boxes. Necessity breeds creation, creation grows from imagination. It is for free, of course someone wants to sell you it, doesn’t mean you have to buy into it.

Listen to your little one playing by them self when you get the chance. The storylines, songs and character voices, those all flowed from their own 100 per cent free mind.

Related: Check out strombo.com‘s  Let Your Kids Get Bored; Apparently, It’s Good For Them 

Other work I’ve done this past week

WTF Wednesday: Charges worst case scenario for Rehtaeh Parsons’ case for This Magazine

Photos of Bad Ladies and the Detective for Missy/Ink Magazine

xox hillarydimenna.com xox

Confused on how to get from Building A to Building B, I followed the footsteps someone else left imprinted in the Ontario snow. With faith I allowed them to lead me, and it was a success. I laughed at the thought of someone trying to follow my footprints. They’d be lead in circles, through dangerous paths, stumbling where things got topsy-turvy and they may even trip over the indent of where I fell on my bum. It kind of scared me to think someone would follow my clumsy feet. Then it hit me, that’s what my little one IS doing.

My online portfolio got pretty spiffy! Still working on some stuff but here it is!

hillarydimenna.com

Tips, comments and, of course, compliments are welcome and invited xo MM

When they learn to walk, shelves fall. They learn to talk, they say they hate you. They’re out of diapers, and wetting the bed. They go to school, and learn rude rhymes.

Mommyhood – There’s no winning.

This beautiful opportunity is wasted on me. I have the chance to give all my love to this little person, to help them grow and live a life not only fulfilling to themselves but beneficial for the world around them. I can produce a globally conscious human being who can change the world but I can’t even make her go to bed; to get the rest needed to do anything productive. I pass out from trying, while she sits on her bed watching Monster House and drawing vampire bats.

I can’t pee with the door closed because she’ll force it open. I haven’t had a proper meal in forever because she and the cats seem to conspire against me, and spill the milk at just the right time.

The same child I would kill for is whom I hide under my covers from. When will I take a breath and enjoy the beauty of parenthood when I am too busy messing everything up?

My ringlet crowned darling will say the darndest thing, say something truly amazing, and I’m too tired to express my pride. It seems all I do is scream, dish out threats I’m not entirely willing to fulfill. If I don’t go through with these coercions, my daughter won’t have consistency in her life. She will grow up moving from one empty relationship to another, deal drugs and end up in jail ruing the day she was born. That day, by the way, is my fault. Ah the constant feeling of inadequacy!

Growing up at Nonna’s house, crucified Jesus hanging from that little Italian lady’s walls, you’d think I had mastered guilt. If there were a degree of some sort I’d receive it without having to apply. But no, parenthood, single motherhood, that’s a whole other guilt-laden animal.

It is said that raising a child takes a village, at the very least a partnership. There are no breaks, no handing her off for a few minutes. I’m the hated parent, the nurturer, the disciplinarian. It’s my fault when things go wrong, when her lunch isn’t perfectly balanced and when her socks don’t match. I can’t even match my own socks. When things go right, I have no one to celebrate with. How selfish of a statement, isn’t the celebration of her achievement the achievement itself? Oh I feel guilty now.

I scour the piles of school notices, knowing if I recycle them without a glance I’ll miss the one warning of a school wide lice contamination. I’m the one braving the underbelly of what I hope is juice stained secondhand cushions, to ensure my kid isn’t left out of Pizza Day. Extra curricular activities, birthday parties, time outs, sticker charts; all on me.

I visit Facebook and see pictures attacking single mothers. “The government is not your babies [sic] daddy,” followed by comments calling single-mothers lazy, followed by ruder language. I comment that said picture may not be depicting the whole story.  I’m not on Ontario Works personally, but as a mother and a woman, I’m offended. You can’t get an income from a paying job without a sitter. You can’t afford a sitter without the cash.  And why is it assumed mothers are stealing from hardworking citizens? Because bringing up the next generation is a breeze.

I keep hearing that single moms are stupid for not expecting the amount of work and money it takes to raise a child. The father is never mentioned. Life happens, there is no being ready for a child. To be entirely prepared is to be a fortuneteller. A human life must be cared for, no matter the circumstance.

Most single mamas are not on the prowl for a dude to support them. If a relationship is pursued, chances are they are for the same reasons non-parents seek companionship. Sex, cuddles and support are all cool things.

Single lady mommies are not all looking for a brand new father for their spawn. My daughter has a dad, whether I’m with him romantically or not. I don’t need to force her to call another man her father. I will let my partner and her decide what their relationship is. I will be in a relationship for love, not to add a new parent to the roster. (Extra help would be awesome, but any parent in any situation would say that.)

While I’m vowing it will be better for my baby than it was for me, the world is sending me another message. I deserve it. As a mother I deserve it. As a single mother I asked for it. As an abused partner I wanted it. Hell, let’s be honest, because I’m a woman, I had it coming.

And this confusion that I feel, being born female, is amplified by giving birth to a female. No pressure or anything, but despite everything I know to be true and everything I learned growing up, I can’t let my little girl grow up to feel like me. There’s no report card, no set of fail proof instructions. Though there is a market of self-help books, fitness classes and nosey strangers who try to make me sway to the otherwise.

If anything it is “character building blah blah blah,” it’s a “journey yadda yadda yadda.”

I want to show how much I care, but it’s hard when my head is constantly held under murky waters. How do other mothers do it? Don’t tell me, I’ll shoot the messenger.

“A mother can be an inspiration
To her little son
Change his thoughts, his mind, his life,
Just with her gentle hum”

I’ve had quite a few new followers via e-mail, WordPress and Facebook (If you haven’t already, “Like” the page for extra stuff!) And I figured I should re-introduce myself on this blog. MUCH LOVE FOR ALL THE NEW AND CONTINUED SUPPORT XOXOXO

I’m a twenty-something mom  and soon-to-be-graduated journalism student. My five-year-old skateboarding ballerina has made me see things differently, and inspires me to really make some positive change in the world. She is my favourite song and my first love.

But, I will admit the girl is annoying. I always joke about her being the worst roommate ever. We’re a small family in a small apartment. It’s her, two cats and me. I need alone time. I have always found a retreat in reading and writing. A strange getaway from parenthood considering I write a lot about it.

After I became pregnant it came to my attention that all parents of all walks of life face societal expectations regarding how they parent.

And so my blog was born. Full of those awesome comebacks I thought of too late, but you can feel free to use them, my own confusion being a mom and research on what media, consumerism, feminism and classicism have to do with raising a family. Along with pictures and videos to make you smile.

Story and image by Savannah Watters

Mama and babe <3

I’m sure every new parent has a magical plan to keep their lives somewhat consistent and keep some identity when having their first child. “Everything will be exactly the same”, they would say. We said the same thing, but embraced the obvious changes that come with a new member of the family. Now that my daughter is almost seven months and I can fairly reflect, I think I could honestly say that my life is very much the same in some ways, just a million times better with the changes. I wake up earlier and it makes me feel good. The things I believe in mean more and I work harder to shape those beliefs for her. I’ve found out who my real friends are and become closer with my partner. My favourite concept in the world, love, has overcome my life and myself and has become my identity.

We made a point to have our daughter socialized early – taking her on frequent outings which helped me to recover quickly post partum, and having family stay with her while we went out to maintain some sort of social or romantic life. I knew we would have to get used to someone else caring for her eventually and that it only gets harder as time goes on. I have no regrets doing that after a month. We are a young couple, and to me it is important that we continue to live and grow as we would naturally so we can be our true selves for our daughter. I love her just as much as the next parent, but to allow myself a break from time to time puts that love in perspective, and know myself enough to be able to fully care for her without losing touch of reality. The responsibility comes first though, and it takes some balance.

I listen to punk rock with my baby. I have friends over to play music together while she falls asleep to the guitar and sleeps through the night. I take her to protests and political demonstrations. I take her out to dinner with us. I know we are lucky to have such a well-behaved baby, but something inside me feels that the attitude with which I approach parenting plays a huge role in how she learns to adapt to us. So far I have no regrets, just lots of love. It’s an amazingly fulfilling reward for the work all parents put in to raising our children, and that is something we all have in common, no matter what our identity.

Read more of Watters’s work on her blog, Progressive Mommy